Lesson 5: Embarrassing Blunders (+ bonus lesson w/JEFF SINCLAIR! Punch!)

Howdy Everybody!

As you can see from the title... We've got another awesome guest author today.  The fabulous Mr. Jeff Sinclair hails all the way from Canada.  I'm loving these Canadian authors, aren't you?  I hope you enjoy our videos! :)

Here's mine:

1. Your, you're:

You're is a contraction of two words put together You and Are.

So the secret is easy.  Every time you go to type YOUR or YOU'RE, remember to reread the sentence and if  you meant to write you are, and it makes sense, then type YOU'RE.  If it doesn't make sense to say you are, then type YOUR.

I love your hair.  You're so amazing the way you can style it like that.  What did your mom say when she saw it?  Come on, let's show my sister, you're going to freak when you see her response.  I know she's going to love it too.

Make sense?

Okay.  On to the next set of words:

2. There.  Their.  They're:

There is the word we use to say where something is or to describe something.  It is also the most commonly used of the three similar words.

There is my hat!  I've been looking for it everywhere!  Place that there.  There are several ways you can do that.

Their is the word we use to describe people or living things with.  It is always associated with a person or animal you're talking about.

Their hat is sitting on the counter.  The monkeys liked their new home.  The fish made their way home happily.

They're is a contraction of the words THEY ARE.  So the same principal applies as before with you're.  If it make sense to say they are, then that word goes there.  <--hehee.

They're such a cute couple.  They're the fastest cars I've ever seen.   Those colors are so cool, they're awesome!

Okay.  Next words:

3. It's, Its:

It's is a contraction of IT IS.  So same principal again. If it doesn't make sense to say IT IS, use the other one.  A little secret?  Its always is associated with an animal or human.   Actually, the difference between its and it's confuses more adults than anything else I know of.  If you're not sure, do the contraction test out loud and see if that apostrophe is needed or not.  Lol!  Don't you just love the English language?

It's such a pleasure to see you.  I'd stay away from the dog, its days are numbered.

Okay.  One more set of words:

4. Where, Were, We're:

Where is used to describe where something is.

Where are we going?  Have you seen where my ball is?  I'd love to see where that movie was made.

Were is used to describe something that has already happened.  It's in the past.

Were you happy with the song I wrote?  What were you thinking?  Just so you know,  you were not fooling anyone.

We're is a contraction of WE ARE.  Same rule applies as before.  Replace the words WE ARE in your head to see if they make sense.

Hey, we're all heading to the park, do you want to come?  We're in here!  We're so loving your party, it rocks!

Whew!  Well I hope that helps.


Bonus Lesson, Punch! by, Jeff Sinclair:

Now onto Jeff's video--ways to start your story, or make it Punch!

Thank you so much, Jeff!  So I'm going to post a couple of my story starts below so you can see how it is I try to start with a punch... a grab the reader's attention:

PERSUADED (The Jane Austen Diaries)--

            

            There was an awkward tug, a twist and a slight jerk, before the glass beads spilled all over the floor. 

            I’m such an idiot!  This wasn’t even my necklace!

            He was supposed to have left by now.  He’d already said good-bye to his friends.  I watched as Gregory hovered in the doorway, debating over what he should do.  I decided I’d make it easier for him.  As I knelt on the floor I turned my back, completely ignoring him and picked up the mess. 

            There, now you can go.  See?  I don’t need you.  It’s only a few beads after all.  I sighed at the thought of being such a klutz in front of him, again.  It wasn’t a loud sigh, so I was surprised to see his long lean fingers surrounded by mine and the beads.  I glanced up and saw the top of his blonde head as he avoided me, yet, at the same time acknowledged the fact that I needed help.  It had been years since I’d seen that head and those hands so close to my own.  Years.  Bewildered, I paused a moment and didn’t know how to handle myself.  

PRIDE & POPULARITY (The Jane Austen Diaries)--

“Taylor Anderson is the hottest guy ever!” Madison said as she leaned in closer to me to catch a better view of him moving across the concrete basketball court in our local park.

To my right, Alyssa, who looked just like a younger Lucy Liu, practically burst an internal organ when she exclaimed, “I know. I’ve secretly dreamed of marrying him since I was ten.” A pathetic sigh followed.

Disgusted with myself for somewhat agreeing with their drooling, I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, you and every other girl in this park. Look around you—is there a girl here not into Taylor?”

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (Gothic Faerie Tales, Book One)--

“ARRRRUUUGHHHHHH!”

The prince half sobbed, half howled into the night air—his feeble skin ripped, agonizingly making way for the tormented form to escape.  Nearly doubled over, he’d never known such excruciating pain before, and yet the old woman continued to laugh at him. 

Her unmerciful cackles pierced his ears louder than his tearing skin.

Sickened and dazed, the transformation ended with a jolt, leaving a deep rooted throbbing ache throughout his whole form.  Everything stung with the awareness of newly stretched and swollen limbs.  Taking a ginger step, he practically fell over from the searing nerve endings as they shot up from the soles of his feet to his legs and back.  Tender, singed and unprotected newness covered his whole form.  He was so preoccupied with trying to cope, he didn’t hear the woman until she repeated herself.

“You’ll be sore for quite some time, so you’d better get used to it.”  Her laughter grated again.

“Why?” gasped the prince, “Why me?  Why now?”  He tried to straighten and turn to meet her gaze more fully, but while attempting to, he stumbled and collapsed.  Fire surged through every bone as his raw nerves met the harsh ground.  The pain was more unbearable than the transformation.  Nausea flooded into his pounding skull and threatened to spew out his throat onto the ground if he didn’t hold as still as possible.

He felt her cane grind into his hip, but he was too weak to acknowledge it.

“You boy, needed to be taught a lesson.”  She jabbed the sharp stick and continued, “Now you will forever know what it feels like to be ugly.  Your eyes are too hazy at the moment to even see the figure you’ve become, but when you awaken—” she moved the cane to his inflamed disjointed knee and dug deep into the taunt tissue. He flinched and writhed in agony, his howls filling the darkened forest.“—and you will awaken. 

You may wish you were dead, but however, that is not the purpose of such a transformation.  You will live through this—it will be several days until you’re healed enough to make it back to your castle, prince.”  She hissed his title as if it were the curse and not her hex.  “At that point.  When you’re able to crawl up the stately stairs to your fine room, I want you to haul yourself up upon your chiseled table and peer into the looking glass.  Take in every inch of your demented form.

“That will be the day you embrace what has truly happened to you and the day you realize what it means to be an hideous beast forever.”

“NO!” he yelped as her cane lashed at his engorged, twisted spine.  “Please…”  His body convoluted.  Nausea swam in dizzying circles, until he could no longer focus on anything but the bile rising, aching to relieve itself, as the cane pounded again and again.

The old woman wheezed, and thankfully, the whacking stopped.  She coughed for some time, before weakly sputtering out the rest of the curse.  “You-you will be forced to stay this way forever, half man, half beast—unless you find some poor pitiful female to embrace, accept, and love you for the monster that you are.”

Her breathing became more labored.  “You h-have one year to achieve that impossible feat.  O-one year from today to ch-change your spoilt habits and become a man.  If-if you do not succeed, you will be forced to roam the earth in your gruesome form, terrorizing all who meet you, c-causing them to flee in fear from your presence.  Though I must warn you—”

She wheezed again, a huge snarled inhale, which forced a series of bone rattling hacks from her.  They became larger and more pronounced with each cough—precious air forcing its way into her battered lungs. 

The prince felt the space around him shift, before he heard the thud of her collapse and the silence that followed.

It was several minutes before he was able to slowly scrape his body against the earth in painful strides enough to see her, and another several minutes before he could move his limbs enough to ascertain that she was indeed dead.

He smiled then, a bitter hate-filled smile. 

Thank you for participating in today's lessons!  I hope they have helped.  :)  And thank you, Jeff Sinclair for sharing your video and the start of your favorite books with us! 

Homework HOMEFUN ASSIGNMENT:  We want you to add the beginning of your story and we'll critique it.  Also, if you have a question for me, you can add that as well!  

See you next week.  :)

Lesson 3: Develop that Character (+bonus lesson w/PATTI LARSEN! Sensory)

Hi guys! It's an awesome day today.  We've got the totally amazing Patti Larsen as a guest author.  So be sure to welcome her. Two ultra cool ways to make your book better!  :)

But first, we've got Lesson 3 from me.  

Answer these 20 questions for EVERY crucial character in your book.  You'll be grateful you did! :)

Character Development Sheet: 

1. What is their full name and what does it mean?

2. What's their favorite color?

3. What's their favorite food?

4. What do they like to do?

5. Do they have a favorite TV show or author?

6. What's their favorite type of music/bands/singers?

7. Who's their role model/idol? 

8. What's their family life like? 

9. Do they have brothers & sisters?  How many of each/names?

10. What's their favorite animal?

11. What do they wish for?

12. What do they want to be when they're older?

13. What are they afraid of?

14. What embarrasses them?

15. What makes them happiest? 

16. List 5 good things about them.

17. List 5 of their worst traits.

18. Where do they live?

19. Where do they wish they could travel to?

20. If they could take back one instance in their life, what would it be?  What do they regret most? 

Homework  HOMEFUN ASSIGNMENT: 

In the comments mention one new thing you learned about one of your characters.  (Fill the rest of the character sheets out on your own. I promise it's really fun to do! :) )  Don't forget to see Patti's lesson too.  You guys are so lucky! :)

Patti Larsen’s Guest Lesson: Sensory Writing

First, let me say a MASSIVE thank you to Jenni for letting me be a part of this amazing process! I love teaching, sharing, imparting, expounding, explaining… you get the point, right? I’ll slap a bit more about me and who I am at the end of this post but for now I’m too excited and want to get going. Don’t you?

Today’s lesson is all about writing from a sensory point of view. We have five, after all and, if you believe in such things or even write about them (hello paranormal!) six.

Like Jenni, I’ve posted the majority of the lesson in the video below:

Example One—Fresco, Chapter Two

Senseless:

Fresco stood on the sidewalk and watched as Justin’s truck drove past into the intersection, hitting another car. The two vehicles spun toward the curb, locked together.

Using Senses:

Fresco had a heartbeat to register he now stood on the sidewalk next to the stop sign. The sun beamed down on him, warming his face. The world was silent, a jolting change from the blaring music. Justin’s black truck roared past in the next breath, careened into the intersection, t-boned by the blue sedan. The impact rippled the air, rushing over, through and past him in a shockwave. He felt it before he heard metal shriek and clash, the deep thrum of humming tires, the sharp bellow of shattering safety glass, the thrum of releasing airbags. The two vehicles melded together with enough force to spin them 180 degrees and come to a screeching halt against the opposite curb. Smoke billowed from the front of the blue car, bits of yellow and red plastic scattered as though tossed with casual disdain. Something within the crippled four-door hissed and sputtered its way down to death, its bonnet compressed, embedded in the passenger side of Justin’s four by four. The truck bent inward where the cab met the box but appeared almost intact compared to the crumpled mess of the family midsize.

This example is obvious and out there, the descriptions fleshed out and drawing on all the senses.

Example Two—Curiosities, Inc, Chapter Four 

Senseless:

Danny walked in the front door.

“Gram?” No answer. Relieved she wouldn’t have to make small talk, Danny headed for the kitchen.

Using Senses:

Danny stepped into the cool, musty quiet of the front hall and closed the heavy door behind her. She kicked off her sneakers, piling them in an untidy heap on the mat by the door. She thought she heard quiet voices talking, but couldn’t tell from where.

“Gram?” She called upstairs. The voices fell silent. Come to think of it, the house felt empty, still. She was pretty sure she was alone. No answer from her grandmother, anyway. Relieved that she wouldn’t be forced to make small talk and lie about how great her day was and passing off the voices as the murmurs of the old house, she drifted through the front living room.

Here, the example is more subtle. Cool implies physical feeling of temperature. Musty speaks to scent and quiet to hearing. Three simple words tell the reader volumes without having to go to deeply into description. Can you spot the rest?

Example Three—Henry

Senseless:

The town sign read Avlin, Texas, pop. 967. Viviana paused there for a moment before driving on.

Using Senses:

The neglected town sign emerged from the rippling heat. Avlin, Texas, pop. 968. No, sixty-seven. The eight was crossed off.

Viviana paused there, far from the interstate, from civilization really, all tumbleweeds and cacti in the Texas sunshine. She dabbed perspiration from her upper lip with a delicate handkerchief, cursing the rental agent who swore the car had air conditioning. Such curses were not to be taken lightly. That false young man would suffer a whole year of hurt because he tried to pull one over on an old lady.

Viviana popped a freshly pickled eyeball into her mouth and hit the gas.

Is it making sense (no pun intended!) to you now?

Now that you’ve seen the examples, ask yourself: are the differences obvious? Which connects you better to the characters, the scene, the story? Is it better to use sensory writing or worse? Is there such a thing as too much sensory writing? Can you go overboard?

Of course! There’s no need to use this type of writing for all five (six) senses in every scene. Choose the one (or two) that makes the most impact on the story. And play with it. Vision isn’t always the best choice, for example.

Using sensory writing will add great depth and vibrancy to your writing. And it’s fun!

Homework HOMEFUN ASSIGNMENT (remember for everyone who comments, there will be a contest later): 

Read the following sentence:

Mary sat in her chair and waited.

Plain, ordinary and boring, right? Okay, here’s your assignment! Layer on the sensory writing! What is she smelling? Tasting? What does the chair feel like? What can she hear? Is she a telepath? Go WAY over the top with this adding as much sensory writing to it as you possibly can. I want to feel like I’m right there next to her.

Now, pare it back. Which are the most important ones to her particular story? What can you cut out and still get across the tale you’re telling? Play around with adding the unusual because it can lead you places in your writing you never expected. Have fun!

PATTI LARSEN:

Oh and I promised a little about me… I’m a mainly YA author of paranormal and dark urban fantasy, though I dabble in adult thrillers as well. I have several books coming out over the next six months, the first of which is Fresco with Etopia Press. The sequels are right on it’s heels! I also have a YA paranormal series, the Hayle Coven novels, signed with Etopia, a middle grade novel coming Spring 2012 with Acorn Press and an adult/YA crossover thriller called Best Friends Forever also with Etopia. I teach a writing structure workshop, Get Your Book Done 101 and when I’m not writing I’m thinking about it.

You can find me at http://pattilarsen.blogspot.com where I write about my favorite subject—writing. And at http://pattilarsenbooks.blogspot.com where I write about my second favorite subject—my novels.

Twitter I’m @PattiLarsen

Facebook you can find me at http://facebook.com/pattilarsenauthor

Psst... Isn't she amazing?  Thank you Patti for stopping by.  You so rock! :) --Jenni