Friday, September 2, 2011

Lesson 10: The End

So after they get together and kiss and talk about how much they love each other... blah, blah, blah... because this is a series, this is how AJ and I chose to end the book--just to give the reader a little taste of what is to come--taken from Eternity:


After I had cooled my heels for a considerable while outside I was finally allowed in.  I’d almost lost my nerve a few times, but then every instance I began to change my mind, my brother’s worried face would come to the forefront again and I just knew without a shadow of a doubt that I had to do this.
Laurelia was right, I would never be happy unless I knew my brother was okay.  Not now, not after all we’d been through, I couldn’t let him go and face a world like that on his own.  A world that might ultimately lead him to kill himself; I knew Aurelius would never make it through a life like that. 
“You wanted to see me?” Father asked as he motioned into his office.
“Yes.”  I took a deep breath and gazed vacantly at the beautifully decorated room, while settling down into the plush chair that was offered .  God moved around to sit in the chair next to me, swiveling his around to face mine.  His eyes searched through me for a minute or so, before he nodded his head and let out a sigh. 
“I was afraid of this.  Are you sure you really want to go this route?”
“Yes.  I have to take his place. I realize that by working my way up the chain of command as I did—changing my destiny, and becoming a general, I’ve also ruined things for my brother.  I can’t do that to him.  I can’t.  I have to go back and be the man I was meant to become, or he will face my trials and die.”
Father’s brow creased and he pursed his lips while he looked me over, his head shaking a little in confusion.  “You’re a greater man than I gave you credit for, Petrus.”  He brought his fingers up to stroke his short beard and continued, “Do you have any idea what people would do for the life you’ve been granted with General Laurelia?  Many men would give their souls to be with her.  Look at Soren, he went mad in his attempts to woo her, and yet you—you own her heart and are willing to walk away.”
“No.”  I held my rising anger in check, barely.  The sensation was raw and confusing, particularly in God’s presence.  “You completely misunderstand the situation then, Father.  I love her with everything I have.  There is no one—no one, I would rather be with—and this is by far the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do. The only way I could do it, is with her blessing.  Had it not been for her assurance that everything will work out, I would never propose to leave her side for a single moment.”
God too was angry—I didn’t see it coming until he slammed his hand upon the arm of his chair.  “And what of Laurelia?  What of her?  Have you not thought of what this could do to her?  You saw Lucifer’s reaction towards her.  How could you leave her unprotected like that? What if he claimed her life before you proved yourself worthy of joining her side again?  If you take on this life with your brother, you will be living on two very separate continents, it’s not even guaranteed you two will ever meet. ”  He stood up.  “Perhaps, my son, you do not love her as you believe you do.”
Until that moment, I didn’t realize how close to Laurelia he truly was—how could he not be close?  Her whole strength and unwavering devotion and faith to him would make any father proud, but one who truly knew her worth would be over the moon. 
“Father,” I tried to maintain some decorum and a level of respect for the man in front of me, “I love her.  There is nothing at all that I wouldn’t do for that woman.  My life did not begin until I met her, there was no purpose and never will be again if anything were to happen to her.  My reason for coming here, was not just to propose I be given my old life back—but to ask that you also allow me to endure all of Laurelia’s trials. Anything Satan wishes to send her way, divert to me.  Give them all to me, until I can be there to hold her and support her as I need to—until I can find my way back to her.  I will find her.”
“Great Heavens,” God mumbled as he sat back down.  “Petrus, do you have any idea what it is you’ve proposed to take on for yourself?  Any idea what your life would become?  You know the life that awaits you—the life that would kill Aurelius, and now you intend to take on all the trials of the one woman Lucifer has pledged to target, as well?  Are you completely out of your mind?”
I remained standing, my jaw tightening.  “I don’t care—I-I cannot leave her to him unprotected and I cannot shirk my duty towards my brother.  What would you have me do?  Until I can be with her, this is the only way.  Give them to me; all of their pain and suffering—make it mine—all of it.”
“Petrus, no!”  God shook his head.  “No man could withstand what you propose and live, it’s too risky.”  He got up and moved over to the desk, walking behind it—in a dismissive gesture.  “You’re too important now to the end of the world, we can’t risk losing you.”
I slammed my hand upon the desk to get his attention.  “Better me than her!” 
“You can’t do it!”                                                                                           
“Yes, I can!  If anyone can it’s me.  You know this.  Think Father; think what I have accomplished already.  I, the only man in all of heaven to do so—you must let me do this!  You must.”  I leaned forward searching his eyes.  “Besides, if I don’t take on her trials, Laurelia will have it no other way; she’s determined that I help my brother.  You know how she is—there will be no convincing her otherwise—and I can’t live knowing she’ll be attacked by Satan as she will be—I need your reassurance, and I need it now, that she will have as perfect a life as you can give her until I can find her again.”
Father met my stare straight on, but I didn’t flinch, allowing him to see to the true depth of my character. 
“Does she know?” he asked quietly.
“No.”  I closed my eyes, running my hand over my face.  “No, and she’d annihilate me if she did.  This will only work if I have your permission now, and a promise that she will never know what it is I’ve done in exchange for her protection.”
Father nodded his head slowly his hand reaching out to clasp my elbow.
“But you must understand, my son, I do not bargain with my children often and I only do so in this manner with you now, because I think of the love between your sweet Mother and I, and how your words echo some of my own.  What man wouldn’t wish to protect his love as you are?  It is done.  It will all happen as you wish.”
I let out a sigh of relief and bowed as low as I could, sealing my fate forever. 
“Thank you.  I promise that you will not regret this.”
He looked at me with great sadness.
“I already do, my son; I only hope that I do not grow to regret it even more deeply.”

Homework HOMEFUN ASSIGNMENT: Post your endings.  For those of you who are really proud of your endings, I'd like you to post them so everyone else can learn from you as well.  


  1. ok jenni! first to comment yeah! well this is the ending im very proud of! My book is called At Second Glance, and one of the main themes is giving people you wouldn't normally care about a 'second glance' or even a second chance. You might not get everything just 'cause u need to read the book, but there is my ending!


    I walk into Emma’s room, see a newspaper article and read it.

    Second Glances
    By Neuf Papa

    How many people do we see in our lifetime? Not see as in meet with or going to see, but just see. How many people do we glance at in our lifetime? When we’re walking to work or school? Or when we sit down at a restaurant? How many people do you pace by at the airport?
    Take a minute right now and look. Look up from he newspaper you’re reading. How may people are into that café wit you? How many people do you see form the bus stop you’re at? If you’re at home, pick up a photo from a recent trip you took. How many people are in the background?
    How here’s a quick survey. Look around, how may people are wearing a hat? How many people have red hair? How may are wearing something green? How many of them do you recognize?
    Now I know you may be thinking, why do I care? How about asking yourself these questions;
    How many people have walked by you, or sat by you, who didn’t even give a second glance? How many photos are you in the background of? How many times have you just been an extra in someone else’s movie? Do you care now?
    Just think about how many people you’ve seen today alone. Seems like a lot now that you think of it right? Well, unless you’ve stayed home all day, but that’s beside the point.
    Which brings me to my point. I’m not going to sit here and tell you than you need to give a handshake to a greeting to everyone on the street before you get to work. I’m not telling you that. S what am I telling you?
    I will admit hat there are many people on this earth that you will pass by only once, that happens a lot of times. But my point, there are some people you pass by more than you think. They could be a guy who goes to the same coffee shop as you before you go to work. They could be a girl who takes the some bus as you. They could be a girl in your LA class.
    What I’m trying to say is there are a lot of people we don’t acknowledge in our life. Even if it just means saying hi or offer them the chair you’re to suing, knowing the people in your love.
    Just think of all the times some acknowledged you in the cafeteria lady, the barista hat knows your order, the parking attended who knows your name. Didn’t that feel nice? Didn’t it feel nice to be appreciated?
    Who knows? Maybe you’ll make a new friend, trust me, they’ll appreciate it. There are a lot of people in this world, and everyone deserves a second glance.
    I smile, how ironic it was. I always thought my dad was talking about nonsense that would never really have anything to do with my actual life, but it was the complete opposite. For example, this article was basically about Emma, how the most anyone threw her was passing look, how I was the one person who took that second glance, and continued staring.
    I wonder if he knew then, that someday I’d look up at this one article and smile. Did he know this one was special? This one would stand out from the others?
    “Tyler!” Emma yells form the stairs, breaking me from my train of thought. “Come down stairs! It’s almost time!”

  2. (continuted)

    I sigh. This should be the most interesting Thanksgiving in a long time. Downstairs, Jackie has her camera ready, like always. Ever since she started going to school, there was barely a moment with out Jackie snapping a candid shoot.
    Also she decided to specialize in wedding photography, so can you guess who her test couple is? Yep, I swear we’re going to have so many pictures together her camera is going to recognize us. Once Jackie wanted Emma to wear a wedding dress and me in a tux and have us walk around Central Park. ‘Kay so first, I don’t know where we’d get a wedding dress and there was no way Emma was going to wear it. Emma managed to compromise Jessie down to her prom dress. It was so funny walking around Central Park. Everyone was string at us trying to figure out what they were missing. That shoot was one of my favorites. One little girl even walked up to Emma and asked if she was sleeping beauty, so cute.
    Jackie’s dressed in a white and red poka dot dress with red lipstick on, so Jackie. Emma’s wearing one of Jackie’s old shirts, blue with rushed details.
    “Are you guys ready?” Emma says.
    “Yah!” Jackie lifts up her camera.
    “Yup,” I say.
    “Tyler, you have door duty,” Emma assigns me.
    “Ya, duty, don’t be immature.”
    “I didn’t say anything.” I say, while my face starts a smile, thinking of the immature joke.
    “Jackie, you be sweet and capture the whole thing.”
    “Got it.”
    “I’ll get the food and be the hostess. ‘K?”
    “’K,” I say. “And ready, brake.” I clap my hands. Jackie and Emma roll their eyes.
    The doorbell rings, and the event begins. Emma heads with me to the door. Once I open the door, Jason is at Emma’s feet.
    “Emma! Emmy! It’s you!” he says, a death grip on Emma.
    “It’s all he’s been looking forward to all week,” Katherine says.
    Emma had started a sort of pen pal thing with Jason, Anna, and Katherine over the last few months, yet Jason’s handwriting left much to be desired. When they said they didn’t have any plans for Thanksgiving, Emma invited them.
    Emma picks up Jason and Anna says, “Who’s this?” pointing to me.
    “That’s Tyler. Remember? I told you about him in my letter.”
    “Nice to meet you.” Katherine shakes my hand.
    “Same to you,” I say.
    “Is he prince Charming?” Anna asks.
    “In a way,” Emma says with a sly smile. “Come in. Come in. Jackie’s over there.”
    Jackie’s camera is covering her face when we turn around. Emma walks over with Jason and says, “This is Jackie, Jason.”
    “Hi Jason.” Jackie’s voice is as sweet as could be. Jason gives a shy smile before hiding away in Emma’s shoulder.
    “I can take him now, Emma,” Katherine says, leading Jason over to the coach.
    “Pretty!” Anna says looking up at Jackie.
    “Raven! Come down stairs! Guests are already here!” Emma yells into the hallway.
    “I’m coming. I’m coming.” Raven walks out. “Happy?”
    “The badge,” Emma says.
    “You’re still wearing your police badge. Take it off.”
    “Oh right,” Raven says, putting it in her pocket. Emma raises her eyebrows. “Fine, I’ll put it in my room!”
    The door bell things again. It’s Mr. June. He continued to be our LA teacher in senior year. We were talking about our holiday plans and the class asked him and he said he didn’t have any. Emma wasn’t going to have that.
    “Hello, Mr. June.”
    “Hey, Tyler.” There’s nothing weirder than seeing a teacher out of school, even if they’re cool.
    “I didn’t think you were going to show up,” I say leading him in.
    “Well Emma asked me and I couldn’t say no.”
    “She bribe you with some of her writing?”
    “That’s what I thought.” I grin.
    “Hello, Mr. June,” Emma says. “This is Raven Benne.”

  3. (continued even more)

    I leave during the introductions to yell, “Mom! Come out!”
    “Coming!” she calls again and appears.
    “Start mingling,” I say when the door rings again. Looking through the peep whole, I see Gary.
    “Is it Gary?” Jackie asks, all of a sudden psychic. I roll my eyes.
    “Let me answer it,” she says, fixing her dress. Gray and Jackie had started going out right after the investigation. Yeah, go figure. I have know idea how they meet or when they started officially going out, but whatever. Jackie repositions her hair before opening the door with a kind smile.
    “Hello, Gary.”
    “Hey, Jackie. Hi Tyler.” He nods at me from above Jackie’s shoulder. I nod back. Gary takes off his coat and leads Jackie in.
    The doorbell rings. “Emma how many people did we invite to this thing?” I yell. I don’t get a response; she’s introducing Katherine to Raven.
    Thankfully this is our last guest. It’s Joe. “Joe, I didn’t think you’d come.”
    “Well,” he says. “I had no where else to go, and I figured having to turkey sandwich Thanksgivings in a row wouldn’t be good.”
    “You’re always welcome. Come in.”
    I close the door and look at the scene. Jackie’s talking to Anna, and Katherine. Mr. June is probably begging Emma for a sneak preview. Raven and Joe are conversing with my mom. Gary and Jason seem to be having a very intense conversation on trucks. I just think. I only knew two people in this room a year ago, and I’m related to only one of them. All the other people I wouldn’t have known if it weren’t for Emma, (well maybe Mr. June, but there was no way before I was going to ask a teacher to Thanksgiving dinner.) If I hadn’t learned to take a second glance at others and myself I’d be having another lonely dinner. I smile and watch as people I’ve met through the weirdest circumstances, meet each other. At first glimpse, this room is a room of people meeting each other. At second glance, this room is people who have barely anything in common, but are still getting alone.
    Emma gives me a look as if saying ‘are you coming to join the party?’. Strangely this is the best Thanksgiving I think I’ve ever had. The last line of my dad’s article echoes in my head as I glance around the room for one last time; there are a lot of people in this world, and everyone deserves a second glance.

    what do ya think?

  4. I haven't gotten around to writing an ending yet.. I'm working on a few stories at once so....
    Sorrrrryyyyy :(

  5. @Tess... it still needs some edits and tightening up. But all in all, it's got some really nice closure. I like it! :)

    @Star,catcher... don't worry, the endings will come! :)


  6. So, the end of my story is about a depressed girl who kills herself (I haven't completed the story yet, but I already wrote the ending).
    Sorry if it's not completely G rated...
    The End

    Floating... Drifting...

    My long, straight hair billows about me like a cloud in multiple directions.

    People look above me, seeing my hair floating around me, wondering what I am doing. But they are just a hazy glance when I open my eyes.

    I close my eyes.

    My lungs start to hurt. I feel a burning from holding my breath for so long.

    I decide to let my breath out.

    Pain... Burning...

    My head is pounding. The weight of the water is unbearable...

    Let go...

    Breathe in...

    Keep going...

    Open my eyes again, and I see people watching me...

    Looking.. Staring...

    One of them shouts.

    Pointing... Shouting...

    My head feels heavy.

    My eyes drift shut...

    Floating... Drifting...

    Like in a dream...

    Face down...

    Fingers, toes pruned...

    Breathing stops...

    Slowly... The pain drifts... Away...

    I drift upwards...

    Crying... Watching...

    Watch hte people stare and call doctors with indifference...

    Watch them try to save me but know it's too late...

    Watch them try to clear the pathway to my lungs...

    Watch the water pour out from my lungs, heart, soul...

    Watch from above... Ceremonies of black dresses and silk...

    Watch them cry for me... But I am gone...

    Watch me turn away... And walk with god... At the pearly gates...

    Drifting... Gone...

  7. I have not finished my story, I've only just began it. But once I'm done, I'll post it on here

  8. This is my story on wattpad that was my first one I finished. It is a short story and not the best but I thought I would show you the ending. It is about agirl who was kidnapped for three years and in the end she does get back home. This does take place many, many, many years into the future. Here is my first successful ending.

    We were back home and in a year we had our own house in Oregon. Nate worked in a bakery while I stayed home and wrote stories. I had also taken up dance. Being in a small space for three long years has made me want to just go wild and be able to move without limits. Today I was at home writing my latest novel. The story is about a girl who learns she has cancer and the cure still hasn't been found. She is dying and her brother is trying with all his power to help her. I was getting to the part about how she is going to tell her brother she is giving up when the phone rang. I stopped typing and ran to the living room hoping it was Dr. Hestling. It was.

    "Hello is Rickley Mills there?" She spoke to me.

    "This is she,"

    "I have great news to tell you. The tests are back and it is a positive."

    I had to sit down taking in what she had told me. Technology 60 years ago about this matter wasn't as precise so they had to do these tests differently. I went in yesterday hoping to get good news. And now it is. I was carrying a child. I was over the moon and couldn't wait to tell Nate.

    "Thank you Dr. Hestling," and with that we hung up.

    What do you think on my closure. I wasn't planing on doing a sequal but if anyone on wattpad who read my story wants me to I will but there are no plans. This was a short story so most of the chapters are not that long even thought there are ten or eleven. For anyone else reading this my story is called Locked In Down Under and my user name on wattpad is tophfongbe.


Tell it like it is! :)