Lesson 6: Skizzle-Skerped

 Howdy guys!  Here's the video that'll explain what it is we're doing this week.  My daughter Bailey stopped by to help with some fun announcements.  Hope you enjoy! 

 So to make sure you don't skizzle-skerp your readers I'm gonna walk you through a couple of different scenes.  I'll be using one scene to show the difference between 1st, 3rd, and the lesser used 2nd person and then a another scene to show the difference between past and present tense.  Watch for those words that I change to make the tense or person different.  

Taken from Northanger Alibi (Oct 2011)--

FIRST PERSON:

“So are you trying to tell me you’re some sort of super hero and I’m your nemesis?”  

            “Nemesis, huh?  I think I like that word.  It sends out all sorts of danger signals.”

            Danger signals?  All at once I pictured Tony kissing me and I wondered briefly if his lips would be like Edward’s--cool marble.  And then, the silliest thing happened.  I said something so completely baffling and unlike me.  Maybe it was the recent conquest of Jaden, or the realization that Tony was interested, but whatever it was, I found myself going all movie star and using the most flirtatious line built into my subconscious that related to danger signals.  “So, do you like playing with fire?” 

            Tony groaned.  He fell for it.  Hook, line and sinker.

THIRD PERSON:

“So are you trying to tell me you’re some sort of super hero and I’m your nemesis?”  

            “Nemesis, huh?  I think I like that word.  It sends out all sorts of danger signals.”

            Danger signals?  All at once Claire pictured Tony kissing her and wondered briefly if his lips would be like Edward’s—cool marble.  And then, the silliest thing happened.  She said something so completely baffling and unlike her.  Maybe it was the recent conquest of Jaden, or the realization that Tony was interested, but whatever it was, Claire found herself going all movie star and using the most flirtatious line built into her subconscious that related to danger signals.  “So, do you like playing with fire?” 

            Tony groaned.  He fell for it.  Hook, line and sinker.

  

SECOND PERSON:

(this is generally used if you're writing a nonfiction book, or teaching someone something.)

“So are you trying to tell me you’re some sort of super hero and I’m your nemesis?”  

            “Nemesis, huh?  I think I like that word.  It sends out all sorts of danger signals.”

            Danger signals?  All at once you pictured Tony kissing you and wondered briefly if his lips would be like Edward’s—cool marble.  And then, the silliest thing happened.  You said something so completely baffling and unlike yourself.  Maybe it was the recent conquest of Jaden, or the realization that Tony was interested, but whatever it was, you found yourself going all movie star and using the most flirtatious line built into your subconscious that related to danger signals.  “So, do you like playing with fire?” 

            Tony groaned.  He fell for it.  Hook, line and sinker.

The very beginning of Persuaded

PAST TENSE:

(most publishers and readers prefer to read this tense) 

           

            There was an awkward tug, a twist and a slight jerk, before the glass beads spilled all over the floor. 

            I’m such an idiot!  This wasn’t even my necklace!

            He was supposed to have left by now.  He’d already said good-bye to his friends.  I watched as Gregory hovered in the doorway, debating over what he should do.  I decided I’d make it easier for him.  As I knelt on the floor I turned my back, completely ignoring him and picked up the mess. 

            There, now you can go.  See?  I don’t need you.  It’s only a few beads after all.  I sighed at the thought of being such a klutz in front of him, again.  It wasn’t a loud sigh, so I was surprised to see his long lean fingers surrounded by mine and the beads.  I glanced up and saw the top of his blonde head as he avoided me, yet, at the same time acknowledged the fact that I needed help.  It had been years since I’d seen that head and those hands so close to my own.  Years.  Bewildered, I paused a moment and didn’t know how to handle myself. 

            What I expected least was the joy of him being so near.  I’d anticipated misery and pain and awkwardness, but never joy.  With Gregory returned, I fully expected him to break my heart—as the punishment I deserved—not bring it joy.  Never joy.  I don’t deserve to be happy. 

PRESENT TENSE:

           

            There is an awkward tug, a twist and a slight jerk, before the glass beads spill all over the floor. 

            I’m such an idiot!  This wasn’t even my necklace!

            He was supposed to have left by now.  He’d already said good-bye to his friends.  I watch as Gregory hovers in the doorway, debating over what he should do.  I decide I’ll make it easier for him.  As I kneel on the floor I turn my back, completely ignoring him and pick up the mess. 

            There, now you can go.  See?  I don’t need you.  It’s only a few beads after all.  I sigh at the thought of being such a klutz in front of him, again.  It isn’t a loud sigh, so I am surprised to see his long lean fingers surround mine and the beads.  I glance up and see the top of his blonde head as he avoids me, yet, at the same time acknowledging the fact that I need help.  It has been years since I’ve seen that head and those hands so close to my own.  Years.  Bewildered, I pause a moment and don’t know how to handle myself. 

             

This is me trying to look all calm but really freaking out because I've finally got to see and hold my book!  YAY!!!

 McKenna was officially the very first teen to get to hold my book!  

See how excited she is? :)

 Doesn't it look like the cutest book ever?  Hehehe!  

 I love the spine!  So beautiful!  My design artist over at Inkberry Press did amazing!  I LOVE AMY! :)

Homework HOMEFUN ASSIGNMENT: After you read through your book and make sure you're not skizzle-skerping your readers, I want you to come on here and comment.  Let me know what you plan to do the day you actually get to hold your book in your hands.  What will you do to celebrate when you get published?