Friday, August 5, 2011

Lesson 6: Skizzle-Skerped

 Howdy guys!  Here's the video that'll explain what it is we're doing this week.  My daughter Bailey stopped by to help with some fun announcements.  Hope you enjoy! 



 So to make sure you don't skizzle-skerp your readers I'm gonna walk you through a couple of different scenes.  I'll be using one scene to show the difference between 1st, 3rd, and the lesser used 2nd person and then a another scene to show the difference between past and present tense.  Watch for those words that I change to make the tense or person different.  

Taken from Northanger Alibi (Oct 2011)--
FIRST PERSON:
“So are you trying to tell me you’re some sort of super hero and I’m your nemesis?”  
            “Nemesis, huh?  I think I like that word.  It sends out all sorts of danger signals.”
            Danger signals?  All at once I pictured Tony kissing me and I wondered briefly if his lips would be like Edward’s--cool marble.  And then, the silliest thing happened.  I said something so completely baffling and unlike me.  Maybe it was the recent conquest of Jaden, or the realization that Tony was interested, but whatever it was, I found myself going all movie star and using the most flirtatious line built into my subconscious that related to danger signals.  “So, do you like playing with fire?” 
            Tony groaned.  He fell for it.  Hook, line and sinker.

THIRD PERSON:
“So are you trying to tell me you’re some sort of super hero and I’m your nemesis?”  
            “Nemesis, huh?  I think I like that word.  It sends out all sorts of danger signals.”
            Danger signals?  All at once Claire pictured Tony kissing her and wondered briefly if his lips would be like Edward’s—cool marble.  And then, the silliest thing happened.  She said something so completely baffling and unlike her.  Maybe it was the recent conquest of Jaden, or the realization that Tony was interested, but whatever it was, Claire found herself going all movie star and using the most flirtatious line built into her subconscious that related to danger signals.  “So, do you like playing with fire?” 
            Tony groaned.  He fell for it.  Hook, line and sinker.
  
SECOND PERSON:
(this is generally used if you're writing a nonfiction book, or teaching someone something.)
“So are you trying to tell me you’re some sort of super hero and I’m your nemesis?”  
            “Nemesis, huh?  I think I like that word.  It sends out all sorts of danger signals.”
            Danger signals?  All at once you pictured Tony kissing you and wondered briefly if his lips would be like Edward’s—cool marble.  And then, the silliest thing happened.  You said something so completely baffling and unlike yourself.  Maybe it was the recent conquest of Jaden, or the realization that Tony was interested, but whatever it was, you found yourself going all movie star and using the most flirtatious line built into your subconscious that related to danger signals.  “So, do you like playing with fire?” 
            Tony groaned.  He fell for it.  Hook, line and sinker.


The very beginning of Persuaded

PAST TENSE:
(most publishers and readers prefer to read this tense
           
            There was an awkward tug, a twist and a slight jerk, before the glass beads spilled all over the floor. 
            I’m such an idiot!  This wasn’t even my necklace!
            He was supposed to have left by now.  He’d already said good-bye to his friends.  I watched as Gregory hovered in the doorway, debating over what he should do.  I decided I’d make it easier for him.  As I knelt on the floor I turned my back, completely ignoring him and picked up the mess. 
            There, now you can go.  See?  I don’t need you.  It’s only a few beads after all.  I sighed at the thought of being such a klutz in front of him, again.  It wasn’t a loud sigh, so I was surprised to see his long lean fingers surrounded by mine and the beads.  I glanced up and saw the top of his blonde head as he avoided me, yet, at the same time acknowledged the fact that I needed help.  It had been years since I’d seen that head and those hands so close to my own.  Years.  Bewildered, I paused a moment and didn’t know how to handle myself. 
            What I expected least was the joy of him being so near.  I’d anticipated misery and pain and awkwardness, but never joy.  With Gregory returned, I fully expected him to break my heart—as the punishment I deserved—not bring it joy.  Never joy.  I don’t deserve to be happy. 


PRESENT TENSE:
           
            There is an awkward tug, a twist and a slight jerk, before the glass beads spill all over the floor. 
            I’m such an idiot!  This wasn’t even my necklace!
            He was supposed to have left by now.  He’d already said good-bye to his friends.  I watch as Gregory hovers in the doorway, debating over what he should do.  I decide I’ll make it easier for him.  As I kneel on the floor I turn my back, completely ignoring him and pick up the mess. 
            There, now you can go.  See?  I don’t need you.  It’s only a few beads after all.  I sigh at the thought of being such a klutz in front of him, again.  It isn’t a loud sigh, so I am surprised to see his long lean fingers surround mine and the beads.  I glance up and see the top of his blonde head as he avoids me, yet, at the same time acknowledging the fact that I need help.  It has been years since I’ve seen that head and those hands so close to my own.  Years.  Bewildered, I pause a moment and don’t know how to handle myself. 
             

This is me trying to look all calm but really freaking out because I've finally got to see and hold my book!  YAY!!!
 McKenna was officially the very first teen to get to hold my book!  
See how excited she is? :)
 Doesn't it look like the cutest book ever?  Hehehe!  
 I love the spine!  So beautiful!  My design artist over at Inkberry Press did amazing!  I LOVE AMY! :)

Homework HOMEFUN ASSIGNMENT: After you read through your book and make sure you're not skizzle-skerping your readers, I want you to come on here and comment.  Let me know what you plan to do the day you actually get to hold your book in your hands.  What will you do to celebrate when you get published?  

19 comments:

  1. **FIRST COMMENT AGAIN!! WOO!! :)**
    When I get a book published..well, if I ever get a book published I'd probably take out a bunch of my friends to my favorite restaurant or have them all over, or maybe go clubbing and meet a hot guy [ :) lol jk] but I'd just get my closest friends and celebrate a success. And of course, say thanks in a different/ creative way to anyone that helped me get to where I'd be the day I got my book published.

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  2. If I ever got my book published.... I would probably scream... and then go get ice cream. XD

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  3. Scream in a never-endingly maneor and freak out all my fans xD Pfft, what else is there to do!?
    To celebrate? Jump up and down on my bed with my Santa hat! Duhhhh xD lol

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  4. if i ever get my book published, and i finally have it in my hands, i wud first scream and then i wud invite my friends to my house and scream some more. then, i wud go to wattpad and give a detailed review of 10 undiscovered stories.

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  5. if ever got my book published, I would invite my friends and family over, have dinner. But one think I'd love to do is, since abuse is a theme in my book, give some copies to suffers of physical abuse. I would want to see if it would help them in anyway deal with what they've been through, and if I illustrated it in a realistic way. (Oh and btw @Jenni, you haven't reviewed my begging from last week! could you please look at it and comment asap? Thanks :) )

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  6. If I get my book published...
    First of all I will take Adria and Pau, (co-authors), with all their family, and mine, and I would go to London, Rome, NYC, Paris, and California. Then I would go to vist you, Jenni and give a super hug! :) Then I will make a blog, just like this one to help everybody!!

    Katy

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  7. Getting my own book published would be a celebration within itself. If I ever do get any of my works published (Fingers crossed), and I get to hold it. I would probably end up stroking the cover and just flipping through the pages again and again, trying to get it through my head that I have actually achieved a dream =]
    Great lesson and love the story!

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  8. Hi again! Well when I get my book published, and I'm sure hoping I will! I am totally going to celebrate. My book, Blue Eyed Swans, is the first in a series and so I've got A LOT of work to do but so far it's going well. I'm already on Book Two; Red Eyed Revenge. But when I finally get to hold me book I think I'm going to do a very crazy dance of happiness. And then maybe run up to random people and say "This is my book! I wrote it!" and that would probably scar them for life and they would never buy my books. :( Oh well! But one time I did a writing camp and all the girls in it were younger then me. If you remember the excerpt from my book I posted on week four, well one day was the day I was writing that chapter. So I had only gotten so far but I read the beginning of it to them. So when I finished they just stared at me for a whole minute. And then they went, "Wow. Can you remember us when you're published?" and it was a really awesome moment for me! It made me feel very special. And also I've been thinking about publishing for a while. Just recently I figured out what my dedication for the first book is going to be. And so now that we have reached the end of my rant I have probably skizzle-skerped you. Or however you spell it. Can't wait till I can get to a bookstore (to see and buy your book)!

    ~Imagination34~

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  9. When I get my book published, I probably won't believe it at first, but when it starts to sink in, I'm going to start screaming with happiness :)! I'll invite everyone who helped me with my book to some fancy restaurant where we'll eat our hearts out :D. When I actually get my hands on the book I worked so hard, I think I'm just going to stare at in awe for a long long moment, and then I'll start dancing with glee, no matter what all the witnesses around me think :D. I'll throw some huge party with all of my friends so that we can celebrate. Oh, and then I'll get some kind of glass case installed somewhere in my room and put my book in the like it's a trophy (which, after all the hard work, the book you have created is a trophy) :D. That's what I would do. No joke.

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  10. Wow, to get my book published. That would be a dream. Even thinking about it makes my tummy go all tingly. When I first get my hands on my published book...well, I don't know what Id do. Writing is personal for me and I would maybe want to celebrate on my own for a while. Nothing big, just maybe read the book again because its sure to have plenty of memories within the pages. Then once I'm over the shock and have cried a little, I think I'd just celebrate with my mum and dad. They're the ones that say 'how's my little JK Rowling doing?' and give me strength.

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  11. If I EVER get my book publishes....I would scream like crazy and would definetly sleep with one of the copies and then I would scream more and thank my fans!

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  12. Hi back again! :) I'm just here to show you something I put in my latest chapter. You're right I'm totally going to use skizzle-skerped now :)



    "Wizard libraries don't just hold books from the mortal world and wizard world that exist now. They also hold books up to ten years in the future. Cool right?" he asked and a giddy look started to take over his face. To make sure that the hyper wizard prince I had for a godfather didn't go skizzle-skerped in the library, I whacked him in the head with the newspaper.

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  13. I've gotten to experience it, and it's AMAZING. It's like every thing you have done, all the hard work, long hours editing and re-editing (and re-editing) has finally paid off and it was all worth it. Your heart skips a beat, your cheeks hurt from smiling, and you want to show EVERYONE what you've done.

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  14. Apparently I fell behind! Ah, well! I will go through once I finish with this lesson... Anyways - When I first get published and get to hold my book I'll cry. Yes, I'm emotional with things like that, though I seem to have acquired that trait only recently. To celebrate, I'm most likely going to simply enjoy an evening with my family and keep laughing, stroking the cover, and crying in turns....

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  15. These have been so much to read! It's exciting to see how you all will celebrate your big day! Thank you for sharing. :)

    Jenni

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  16. if i ever get my book published i will throw a party and just dance! :)

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  17. If I ever get my Book published, I would die from happiness. I would have a party with all my friends and family, and just stay up reading my published book XD

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  18. Hi Miss. Jenni!
    Well the day I find out my book's getting published I'd scream in joy and start jumping up and down. Then I'd call my parents and tell them. The day I hold the book in my hands my parents would probably take me out to do some fun stuff, or celebrate! Since it's only the three of us we're reaaaaaally close! My mom is more like my sister! Oh and did I mention that after the family outing my mom and I are probably going to do some guy watching (the best sport EVER!!!) where she will completely embarrass me and my dad will pretend he has no idea what is going on! Yeah that is a true story that has happened tooooo many times than should be good for me! Well Whoops!
    Bye Miss. Jenni!

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  19. Hello Mrs.Jenni James!

    If I where to publish my book?

    Celebrate. First word in my head would be to celebrate. Take my family and friends, go to a restaurant, or a pizza place, go total crazy, then eat some ice cream then go some more crazy.

    I would love to share it with my family, and friends. I just would love to share the moment of my amazing-ness with them and just have fun.

    Also, and I know I'm taking up your time and all, but I listen to your funny stories that were in your life an I want to tell you mine.

    You don't have too read it at all but if you do, cool then :)

    So this one time, and you have to understand that my best friend had the most amazing snacks in high school. And this was my first year. anyway, This one time, I was getting ready for my third period when my friend has here lunch box is out. So of course, like I do at here house, I raid her food. Eat it all. I once ate, three bowls of ice cream, on bowl of chips, four granola bars, and some marshmallows at her house. I know. All lot. Anyway so I look and see she has Oreo's and I swoon like I, and every other girl when reading about a bad boy in a romance novel. So of course I glare and say it's mine like Golam with the ring in the lord of the rings. Anyway then she tries pulling it out of my reach, which ends up with me being pulled as I lose my grip on the lunch box. Every one was staring, and I was still holding on to the lunch box, but ended up not getting any Oreo's and being looked at like I'm crazy. Oh well.

    Bye Mrs.Janni James!

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Tell it like it is! :)